There are no pretty people in my classes. None of em (if you read this, and you're in one of my classes, I'm lying.) Which makes for a difficult semester when you're a spacey daydreamin' a.d.d. student like myself. But alas, that is why God gave men imaginations, and women breasts. Don't worry fellow classmates, I will find a way to sexualize you some how. In fact, I enjoy the challenge. But usually one pretty woman helps when my brain is frazzled and I need something to help me get through.
Yes women, we want to do nasty things to you. Dirty, horrible things. Things that your father did to your mother which accidentally made you. If you have brothers and/or sisters then yo daddy is freak nastay, or just an idiot who makes the same mistake twice. It doesn't matter who you are, how big you are, what you look, smell or taste like. We will consider it. The only obstacle standing in your way is the amount of time were willing to invest in the endeavor. I don't really enjoy saying this, but it needs to be said.
Any Woman on this Earth Can Get Laid
And I do mean any. Any woman out there can have a penis available at any given time. I don't care if you weigh 600 lbs and you're baking green-and-cheesy bread down there. Some man, out there, will put his penis in you (in fact, probably more than one man is willing and able.) This is a fact realized about 6th grade for most girls, so I'm already preaching to the choir. And such is the game that is played since that awful time known as puberty. A person who can score a lot makes a great player, a person who gets scored on a lot makes a shitty goalie. It's unfair, I know. But at least it's awesome from my stand point.
I think all you women are whores, it's just to what degree. I also think all men are losers, just to what degree. So bear that in mind for the next few pieces I am about to write about. First things first...
Being a Whore is a Beautiful Thing
According to Merriam-Websters dictionary a Whore is a:
1: a woman who engages in sexual acts for money : prostitute; also : a promiscuous or immoral woman
2: a male who engages in sexual acts for money
3: a venal or unscrupulous person
This is the standard definition of the word whore. In contemporary language a Whore is someone who will have sex with anyone but YOU. There is a big difference. When I made my previous bold statement about how being a whore is beautiful was simply stated, and I will explain why I feel that way. It is incredible to me that an omnipotent, all-knowing and all-powerful God would entrust the holiest of holy- the Vagina, to Whores.
With great power comes great responsibility. And unfortunately (or awesomely), you women SUCK at managing it. The world should be dominated by Women.You Ladies have something we want (I'll give ya a hint, it starts with a p and ends in ussy.) and here's where you bitches fucked up. You women Sell the ultimate power of the universe, and you sell it very cheaply. Every woman has a price, some need diamond rings, others need 6 shots of Hennessy, and some just need to hear "I love you." and their legs settle their differences and go their separate ways. And that's were you guys decided to degrade yourself as lesser beings. If you women would just Unionize and refuse to give what ya got, the world would crumble at your feet instantly.
This is the standard definition of the word whore. In contemporary language a Whore is someone who will have sex with anyone but YOU. There is a big difference. When I made my previous bold statement about how being a whore is beautiful was simply stated, and I will explain why I feel that way. It is incredible to me that an omnipotent, all-knowing and all-powerful God would entrust the holiest of holy- the Vagina, to Whores.
With great power comes great responsibility. And unfortunately (or awesomely), you women SUCK at managing it. The world should be dominated by Women.You Ladies have something we want (I'll give ya a hint, it starts with a p and ends in ussy.) and here's where you bitches fucked up. You women Sell the ultimate power of the universe, and you sell it very cheaply. Every woman has a price, some need diamond rings, others need 6 shots of Hennessy, and some just need to hear "I love you." and their legs settle their differences and go their separate ways. And that's were you guys decided to degrade yourself as lesser beings. If you women would just Unionize and refuse to give what ya got, the world would crumble at your feet instantly.
I know Beyoncé is out there singing "Who Run da' World?" but shes only lying to herself, and her fellow females. You don't run the world. You may run the relationship (Men are losers, remember?) And you may even dominate certain areas of society by incredible margins. But power? Get the fuck out of here, there's sandwiches to be made. Call me sexist if you'd like, but I bet you can't prove me wrong.
I know, I know. hear all you bitches menstrual cycles syncing up, ready to blast my ass. I'm misogynistic now because I don't understand your struggles. Boohoo. Now I do understand very clearly about #2 of the definition of the world whore. That is correct, men can get paid for sexual intercourse just as much as you whores can. But there is a difference. All men have already lost the game of life. Did you hear that women? Men. Are. Losers. The second were born were given our mission- get the fuck off the planet and go die. Were sperm bullets if were lucky. Bang. So long and thanks for all the blowjobs. A woman gets paid every time she has sex (whether it's dinner, gifts, a wedding ring, dates, anything at all.) Of course, a man can get paid for intercourse, but it a a fraction of a return on his never ending investment to fuck bitches. You women are slot machines (hehe). We might think were winning every now and then, but truly, the house always win.
So why is it beautiful? Because I imagine having a cunt fucking sucks. I personally don't want to deal with anything associated with having to maintain one from age 12 to 55. And it's a blessing that I get to be a comfortable loser, chasing the Pink Dragon until it kills me, in relative comfort and sanity. And if men had vaginas, they would just be women, and who want's to be that? It is beautiful, to me at least, that you women answer the call that your god gave you when you were thrusted from your own mothers vajayjay, and deal with the life given to you. Although, I wish I could say you Women did it without complaint.
I know, I know. hear all you bitches menstrual cycles syncing up, ready to blast my ass. I'm misogynistic now because I don't understand your struggles. Boohoo. Now I do understand very clearly about #2 of the definition of the world whore. That is correct, men can get paid for sexual intercourse just as much as you whores can. But there is a difference. All men have already lost the game of life. Did you hear that women? Men. Are. Losers. The second were born were given our mission- get the fuck off the planet and go die. Were sperm bullets if were lucky. Bang. So long and thanks for all the blowjobs. A woman gets paid every time she has sex (whether it's dinner, gifts, a wedding ring, dates, anything at all.) Of course, a man can get paid for intercourse, but it a a fraction of a return on his never ending investment to fuck bitches. You women are slot machines (hehe). We might think were winning every now and then, but truly, the house always win.
So why is it beautiful? Because I imagine having a cunt fucking sucks. I personally don't want to deal with anything associated with having to maintain one from age 12 to 55. And it's a blessing that I get to be a comfortable loser, chasing the Pink Dragon until it kills me, in relative comfort and sanity. And if men had vaginas, they would just be women, and who want's to be that? It is beautiful, to me at least, that you women answer the call that your god gave you when you were thrusted from your own mothers vajayjay, and deal with the life given to you. Although, I wish I could say you Women did it without complaint.
The World Needs Whores
Why? Because without you women, we would still be sitting in caves touching ourselves ceaselessly (which doesn't sound like a bad gig, actually.) Why do you think Man discovered fire? Too fuck bitches. Why do you think he invented the car? Too fuck bitches. Why do you think man went to the moon? Too fuck bitches. Have you noticed a trend here? Every single thing we do has one goal. To put our penis in your pee hole. Why do we eat? To stay alive long enough to fuck you.
Why do men have power? Because you women sold it too us. And generally speaking, men use power to either: Fuck bitches, make it easier for him to fuck bitches; or lastly, make it harder for other men to fuck bitches. I hope this doesn't paint us in a bad light. Maybe it makes me a bad person. Go run and find your "nice guy" to tell all your vagina related issues with. He'll listen, either because:
A.He want's you to think he's nice because then maybe you'll let him have sex with you (listen to me when I tell you guys this, she won't.)
Or B. He too, has a Vagina himself. And since women already have a vagina, why would they want you? Since he's too scared to defy your powers, he has renounced his man card and can rightfully be called a pussy. I guess if ya can't beat em, join em.
You want to know who I envy?
Gay Men
They have won the game, I'm afraid. they are free from the shackles of female empowerment. While I'm sure they have their own issues to deal with, the main one being Aids. They are free by societies standards to do whatever the fuck they want. It must be an incredible relief to be able to float down the river in peace, rather than fervently trying to race up stream, wasting your entire life and energy for some stupid goal, just to be eaten by a bear.
Oh, and I almost forgot to ask... you look nice, wanna fuck?
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