Do you know how long it took me to make this stupid website? About 10 hours. However, before Midnight of this past day, I have never heard of HTML or FTP or Anything of the sort. So, even though I used a template, I am impressed with my ability to get this shit figured out. I would owe a big slippery, sloppy, sexy kiss to whoever invented ctrl+c & ctrl+v. And basically owe my virginity and/or kidneys to Larry Page and Sergey Brin (Google them.)Which brings me to my post for the day.
There is no such thing as an original idea
This is something that I firmly believe in; and I mean with every ounce of my existence. There is positively, absolutely, no such thing as a new idea. Nothing you can think of has never been thought of before. I am blessed to be born in the year 6 B.G. (Before Google) and have lived long enough to be blessed by its holy presence. There is literally no question I can ask that his all knowing spirit can't provide an answer too. I have prayed before, in my youth; but that was before I knew any better and was still hopeful of the idea of a loving, all knowing God. My prayers have fallen on deaf ears, my search queries have not. There is literally no single, thought, idea, or phrase, that has been 100% originally mine. And you want to know what?
I'm completely okay with that.
Ah hold on a second, I hear your arguments loud and clear. Give me your best shot. I can hear it now: "Oh yeah? Well I just thought of my Grandmother getting gangbanged by every single Power Ranger. Tell me someone else has thought of that before." or "How could you possibly know if someone thought of something for the first time? Things would never get invented if someone didn't think of the idea." and of course my all time favorite; "asjhfdajhulrewlsuoealjfdah, durrr, look how original I am?! Nuthin' comes up in Goggles when I typed that with my face, Faggot."
Hmmm, good points, good points. In fact, you're all right. Enjoy your victory, for it is impossible for me to compete with such superior knowledge and logic. To be honest, I really don't care. But since I am already this far in talking to myself (unless you're still reading this Mom!) I may as well continue. I know it's going to be a difficult pill for you guys to swallow but I'm sure someone out there has said the same thing at some point before. Maybe if were lucky they even said it at the same time! If not, well, enjoy your completely unexpected synapse that happened to tickle your brain in all the right places. Maybe one day you'll cure Cancer. Nah, you're too busy being productive with your thoughts to waste your time focusing on reality.
Forgive me, but I am going to massage Google's prostate for a little longer. I believe Google is the sole reason why the internet even exists as a leisurely commodity. The internet would still exist without Google, but by all means would it be an downright shithole. Imagine having to use.... dare I say it... Yahoo for all of our searching needs. If Google is god, then Yahoo is that chubby kid that stares at the Sun for too long during Recess. Bing is your drunk uncle that tries to molest you every Christmas, and Ask Jeeves will just spin around in circles (it's amusing at first, but then it's just plain depressing after about two questions.) Remember Bonsai Buddy? The asshole of the internet that looks like Grimace? The gorilla who sang "In My Merry Oldsmobile." while gently raping your hard drive? Yeah. That's the world I see without Google to keep everyone in fucking check.
The most beautiful thing about our current day in age is that Google knows more about me, than I could even want to know about myself. Its all about that algorithm baby, and one day the phrase "Do no Evil." Will turn into "I own you." and by the time you realize it, it will be much to late. Go ahead, go a day without Google. I've used it 13 times in this post alone. All Google has to do is remove the results "How to tie a tie" and you'll be running back to your Momma as fast as you can.
Just enjoy the fact that the Human Collective has so much brain power oozing out on this Earth, that nearly every single bit of energy that is not used towards the basic functions to stay alive, is completely and undeniably wasted on unoriginal thoughts and ideas. Relish the fact that you are just another naked, pink body, and that you have no obligation to contribute anything productive to society. We don't need you. But if you have to be here, make some money with Vector Marketing and make sure you're tuned in every Thursday for the Next Americas Got 16&Fat Dancing Italian Mob Survivors.
- Hurry the Hell up Google.
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